Dear 60Something

I’ve read some really interesting and poetic pieces written from a Dear Younger Me perspective. They are usually filled with advice about how things look different from where they now stand. Don’t sweat the details and get it right kind of advice. All good, usually very insightful. I pondered the idea of writing to my 18 year old self. I made a lot of life-altering decisions at that age. I set myself on a particular path at that time and spent a considerable block of time trying desperately to stay on that path before I surrendered to the reality and went another way.

But the truth is I don’t have any real advice to 18 year old me. None that I would have followed at the time, anyway. Like every other 18 year old, I was certain I knew what was right for me and convinced I was making the best decisions for myself. And looking back, I understand why I felt that way and I can even still defend the choices. The truth is, it was a gamble of sorts that could have gone either way. Regardless, I would not be the person I am now, nor would I have the people in my life that I have now, were it not for those choices and the consequences of them. I’m ok with all that. I don’t believe regrets have any real purpose other than to make us feel guilty and I’m surely not going to dwell in that.

So instead of writing to my younger self, I thought I should write to my future self. The future I can affect. I can change. I can impact. This appeals to me. I believe we have only so much energy and attention and it’s best to use it for what’s next instead of what was.

And so: Dear 60Something year old Me,
Congratulations on making it this far! Not everyone does, so pat yourself on the back (assuming you can still do that). Thank you for taking care of our body and health. I know it wasn’t always easy to deny us the Reese’s Peanut Butter that we love so much. I appreciate it.

Thank you for taking care of the people in our life. The boys that are now men are wonderful fathers, husbands, humans, and that’s all due to you and 60Something husband’s hard work and dedication. They are good people and no matter what successes or failures either of you have faced, they are the only thing that really matters. That our children still know that we love them, we appreciate them and value them is by far the greatest talent you ever had, even when you weren’t sure you were doing it right. I know you had your doubts about decisions that you made for us and for them, but the fact is you did the best you could and you loved them with all that you had, and that’s what counts.

Thanks, too, for falling in love with 60Something husband more than once. I know that wasn’t always easy either but oh, so worth it. The fact is that you remembered that as long as we could still look at each other and get that stupid, goofy feeling inside, all was right with the world. Love isn’t all we needed, but at times, it was enough.

It’s been quite a ride, hasn’t it? Looking back, I’m sure you know it’s been the people that mattered all along. I’m sure if you could write to me, you’d tell me not to worry about the big things, just to take each day as it comes and to do my best to enjoy the moments I’m given with my kids, my guy, and my friends. I know you’d tell me that in the end, all the little worries resolved themselves and that what I was doing was never nearly as important nor as lasting as who I was doing it with.

So I guess the Lesson from 60Something is to tell yourself today what you would tell your 20Something self. Relax, you’re doing it right. Find somebody to be with, to love so much you can’t explain it, don’t let the little things ruin your mood and whatever you do, don’t look back with regret. Look forward, always forward. Keep moving, keep learning, and for the sake of your pants, don’t eat the Reese’s Cup EVERY SINGLE TIME you crave one.